Rehab Homework #3: Vulnerability
I did not want to be a fuzzy dandelion waiting for a child
to blow my seedlings free, make a wish.
I wanted to be the wish granter.
I did not want to be an open eye, an open wound.
I wanted to be the eyelid, the doctor.
I did not want to be a daisy petal for plucking “he loves me.”
I wanted to be the lover.
Not a dried leaf on the forest floor
crumbling beneath a deer’s foot
but vibrant and red,
attached securely to a branch.
Not a wisp of a lone cloud,
but a bold cumulonimbus
threatening thunder and downpour.
Vulnerability was to be escaped, outwitted.
I am softer now that I know I cannot control
the whims of my life.
Life will go on happening to me for better or worse–
a vow the universe makes to all of us.
Perhaps I am wise enough now to know strength
is found
in a butterfly’s wing,
thin and frail.
A creature that crawled on its belly, cocooned,
and transformed to flight.
Amanda J. Bradley has published three poetry collections with NYQ Books: Queen Kong, Oz at Night, and Hints and Allegations, and has published poems, fiction, and essays widely in such anthologies and magazines as Paterson Literary Review, Best American Poetry Blog, Rattle, The New York Quarterly, and Gargoyle. She has been nominated for a Pushcart and for Best of the Net. She is a graduate of the MFA in Poetry Writing program at The New School, and holds a PhD in English and American Literature from Washington University. For more information, visit www.amandajbradley.com.
